How to Fight with Your Wife Without Killing Your Marriage
Posted On October 8, 2020
Did you know that marriage is the only relationship in Scripture where two people become one? It illustrates the Trinity’s triune relationship. The Trinity is three separate individuals with different identities and roles, agreeing as one, in perfect harmony. Marriage is two separate individuals with different identities and roles, agreeing as one, in perfect harmony. Well, at least it is two separate individuals with different identities and roles. The agreeing part is something we have to learn. But if we love one another enough we can learn how to disagree without hurting each other.
God tells us to leave our father and mother, cleave together, and become one (Gen. 2:24). Like the Trinity, we must develop oneness of spirit. Though we love our parents, we grow up; marry, move away, and establish new families. Eventually, our children will leave and start their own families. Couples are together long after the children grow up and leave home, so we should make our marriage our priority.
Cotten Mather wrote, “Well ordered families naturally produce a good order in society.” God’s plan for a healthy marriage is to produce strong families. Healthy families create a healthy society. Marriage blends two people from different backgrounds and families, with different customs, traditions, and methods of communicating, into one. This will clearly cause conflict. We can compare newlyweds to two porcupines trying to hug; the closer they get, the more they hurt one another.
By understanding a few key relationship principles, we can find new ways to handle conflict. After we’re married, we cannot react to anger and disappointment as we did before. Learning to disagree without disagreement is crucial to any family. Ideally, most couples should build their relationship before having children, so they will have time to establish healthy methods of conflict resolution.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz has been a Christian since she and her husband, Pastor Michael Schuetz gave their hearts to God on November 15, 1978. They have ministered together since 1989 and together they have pastored seven different churches. Sharon was the senior pastor of their first church while Michael served as co-pastor. In the other churches Michael served as senior pastor and Sharon his co-pastor.
Sharon has been writing Christian books and articles for many years. Her work has been taught in college classes, Sunday schools, youth groups, and women’s ministries.
She and Pastor Schuetz have been married for 44 years. They have three children and ten grandchildren. The Schuetz have enjoyed serving as pastors of Sebastopol Community Church sin February 2018.